Romans 13:7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.
I receive a daily email from a site called Mamapedia. I am not sure WHY I get it, since I do not have small children. The daily digest mainly has a list of questions that struggling parents are asking. One of the questions was from a desperate dad reached out to the audience for help and reassurance. He had a 4 year old that was very disrespectful to him. She consistently said mean things, such as “I don’t want people to see me with you”, called him names, hid from him when he was taking her to dance or school, and often stuck her tongue out at him. He had tried timeout but she would not even stay in the time-out chair.
I do not want to lose any followers so I will not give you my advise on HOW to handle this child, but I will tell you that I am a believer of spare the rod, spoil the child. The Bible is very clear that respect is good and disrespect is bad. Respect is admiration for a person because of his or her position, abilities, qualities, or achievements. Respect is associated with esteem, regard, high opinion, admiration, reverence, deference, and honor. In the Bible, respect is more specifically the act of acknowledging another person’s worth, especially because of position, honor, or age. Disrespect is the opposite of respect: it is failing to acknowledge another’s worth, withholding the honor that should be given, or actively demeaning someone.
According the Bible, respect should be given to those who are owed respect. So who are “those who are owed respect?” The Bible gives us four categories of people to whom respect should be given: elders, authority figures, Jesus Christ, and mankind in general. Elders are owed respect because of their age and experience. (Leviticus 19:32, 1 Timothy 5:1). Since the experience that comes with old age to respect your elders is to respect the wisdom they can give.
Authority figures outside the church would be policemen, firemen, teachers, and bosses, to name a few. Others listed in the Bible who are owed respect, include political leaders such as the President (1 Peter 2:17) and city officials (Mark 15:43). The Bible continues to list people and positions Christians should show respect to; those in authority at the church (1 Timothy 3:2), spiritual leaders (1 Thessalonians 5:12), good fathers who discipline their children (Hebrews 12:9), parents in general (Exodus 20:12; Matthew 15:4), husbands (Ephesians 5:33), and the masters of servants or slaves (bosses). Interestingly, slaves are told to respect their masters not only when their masters are good and gentle, but also when they are harsh and unjust (1 Peter 2:18).
Finally, respect is something that is owed to people in general, from one man to another. A parable is told about a wicked judge who did not fear God or respect man (Luke 18:2). The judge’s disrespect for people is a feature of his wickedness in the story. Christians are not only to honor their fellow believers (Romans 12:10), but also to respect those who do not believe. We are Christians and should be Christlike. Christ respected others, even those who He knew were wrong in their thoughts or actions. (1 Peter 3:15).
First Peter 2:17 describes respect, perfectly “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.” Many of you will not like, and may even disagree, with the Bible’s instruction on how to handle disrespect. The Bible not only gives us instructions on what is good and wise but how to do what is good is wise. We live in a culture that disagrees with God and the Bible. The worldly experts tells parents that the way of the Bible is old and outdated instruction. But the Bible is timeless. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
Many of you deal with grown ups who act just like this 4 year old to their family members, to the waitress, the sales associate, the pastor, the teacher and anyone else who tells them no or doesn’t do what they want. They are mean and nasty to people in authority, will not listen to wise counsel and use the excuse that the people they treat disrespectfully do not deserve their respect. They have an excuse for everyone they treat badly and they are adamant that they are the victims.
Some of the responses to the father made excuses for the child. Some appeared to say maybe the things the 4 year said were true. While others explained how to stop the disrespect and emphatically said, stop it now before it gets worse. If I were going to give advice, I would encourage the parent to seek out the answer in God’s word. God not only tells us that we should be respectful but He tells us how to handle people who are not, children and adults. Churches don’t like his answer. Christians don’t like his answer. BUT HE GIVE US THE CLEAR ANSWER!
Disrespectful children grow up to be disrespectful adults. Unfortunately, we have a lot of D.I.S.R.E.S.P.E.C.T going around. God never said respect had to be earned, man made that up. I will give respect when I get respect, is not in the Bible. Again we made that up. If we want to change the world, we need to look at ourselves, look in our own homes, our churches and our schools. God says there is blessings from obeying His Word. Are you, your children, your church members, your employees receiving God’s blessings?? If not, you can. Open the Bible today and make a commitment to live your life as God directs and tune out all the world experts who advice you to be totally contrary to God. It may be hard, but it will be worth it.