Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
I grew up in a generation where most of my neighbors were family and so were my best friends. The one thing about family, in my generation, was that family was forever. In-laws were called family not in-laws and Sunday dinner at Grandma’s and family reunions took place regularly. Adults were called Aunt’s and Uncles and everyone was called granny, regardless of how old or young they were. The older women gave their opinion to their grown daughters and daughter-n-laws on raising children, marriage, cooking and cleaning and no one got mad or at least didn’t show it.
In my youth, I saw very little fighting between the adults and when it did happen, they were right back at Granny’s house the next Sunday for dinner with the rest of the family. All was forgiven and everyone was back to normal. Why? Because family was important. Cousins were our best friends, outside of school, because they were who we saw the most and played with all the time. The younger Aunts and Uncles were more like our older cooler friends who steered us in the right direction than the adults they represented.
Today, so many people do not have the luxury of growing up with family near by. Granny’s are called a number of different things and Aunts, Uncles and even mom and dads are called by their first name. Cousins aren’t best friends because they rarely see each other due to distance and busy schedules AND there is no Sunday dinner at Granny’s house for most families.
I work at a local pregnancy center where I am blessed to meet so many couples, both young and old. Many who come through the center are in a crisis, but no all. When we ask if they attend church or know the Lord, the amount who say no is staggering. There are a variety of reasons given for not attending church, from un-belief to I used to believe/go to church, but don’t anymore.
We always find a way to share the gospel with those who will give us permission to do so. Many of our patients are alone in our town. Transplants. No Granny’s. No Aunt’s. No Cousins. And for some, No friends. This scripture comes to my mind so often.
You see life is hard. Would you agree? We all have ups and we all have downs. The Bible says we will have trouble in this world, John 16:33. God is always with us so we are really never alone, but God knew from the beginning that man needed another human with him. Genesis 2:18 ESV Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” It is not any different today. We all need someone.
Now listen, my lady friends. I know that some of you have been burned by other women so you don’t trust them. I know that some of you don’t have those cousins, aunts, moms or granny’s nearby to be there to advise you in troubled times. So as hard as it may be, I encourage you to find a Christian woman friend that you can lean on. I say Christian friend because you and she and the Lord make three.
Friends may not stick around forever like our family, however a true friend for any amount of time is a blessing from God. Don’t look at it as you can’t trust women. Look at it as God has taken your friendship with that person to it’s height and He is moving you on to a new level of friendship with someone new. I am speaking from experience as I have been hurt, stabbed in the back, turned on, spit on, lied about and gossiped on by some of those who were once my best friends. My hurt, and maybe yours too, was a double whammy because my best friends were Christians. Each time I was in disbelief that God allowed it to happened. In my past, I have sworn to never have best friends again in order avoid the complications that comes with them.
BUT, I am here to say that you do not need to be alone, nor do I. If you have friends, hurt is going to be inevitable but God will always be there to help you get through the hurt and restore your faith in friendship. A local church is a great place to find friends and support. In those churches you will find imperfect people who are tying to be the best Christians they can be. They are not perfect but they love the perfect one, Jesus Christ. If you don’t have a local church come visit mine, The Body Church, in Rock Hill, SC. Ask other people what church they attend. Visit every Sunday until you find one that feels like a family. Church is more than a check off box. If you find a good one, church is about Christ and family, church family.
My prayer for you today is that you find that best friend that you can stick to closer than a brother and you that you both invite Christ to be your best friend too. I will end with this quote from Joyce Meyers,
Don’t waste your time being upset about something you can’t change. Begin again and do it better this time.